Only Lassie and Gunsmoke broadcast more episodes. With tonight’s 500th episode, The Simpsons moves into Third Place on the most TV Broadcasts list. It’s hard to believe that The Simpsons has been around for 23 years. I watched the first four years faithfully. Then, I slowly drifted away. But, if I’m not busy, I’ll catch a random episode now and then. I’m always impressed that The Simpsons continue to take on contemporary themes and celebrities. The 500th episode of The Simpsons airs here tonight at 8:00 P.M. on FOX. Check your local listings if you want to tune in to history.

When I read Michael Lewis’ Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game when it was published in 2003, I never dreamed it would be turned into a movie. Brad Pitt, in an obvious labor of love, took this story about Billy Beane, General Manager of the Oakland Athletics major league baseball team and produced an insightful and off-beat film. Brad Pitt plays Billy Beane as a man struggling with his own failure in baseball. But Pitt’s character also has the instincts to go with a new concept. You wouldn’t think that audiences would be interested in watching an exercise in sabermetrics, a statistical approach to building a team. But Steven Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin’s screenplay captures the initial condemnation of Beane’s approach and, later, the thrill of victory. Jonah Hill as Yale University trained economist Peter Brand who introduces Billy Beane to sabermetrics delivers a solid performance. Even people who don’t care for baseball will enjoy Moneyball. GRADE: B+

Back in the Seventies, I was reading Richard Stark’s Parker novels in order. Parker is a professional thief who undertakes carefully planned capers in every book. But, of course, things go wrong. Things go very wrong in Slayground, my favorite Parker novel. Parker, his occasional partner (and actor) Grofield, and a driver knock off an armored car. But in the ensuing escape, the driver crashes the car. Parker flees the scene of the crime with a satchel holding $73,000. But things go from bad to worse when Parker accidentally witnesses a pay-off between the local gangster and two dirty cops. Then Parker takes refuge in a shut-down amusement park, preparing for the gangsters who will come to kill him. I always thought that Slayground would have made a great film in the Die Hard series as Parker stealthily takes out gangster after gangster. Parker might be outnumbered, but he’s deadly. If you haven’t read Slayground or the rest of Donald E. Westlake’s “Richard Stark” novels, you’re in for a treat.
THE PARKER SERIES
1 The Hunter 1962
2 The Man With the Getaway Face 1963
3 The Outfit 1963
4 The Mourner 1963
5 The Score 1964
6 The Jugger 1965
7 The Seventh 1966
8 The Handle 1966
G-1 The Damsel (Grofield) 1967
9 The Rare Coin Score 1967
10 The Green Eagle Score 1967
G-2 The Dame (Grofield) 1968
11 The Black Ice Score 1968
12 The Sour Lemon Score 1969
G-3 The Blackbird (Grofield) 1969
13 Deadly Edge 1971
14 Slayground 1971
G-4 Lemons Never Lie (Grofield) 1971
15 Plunder Squad 1972
16 Butcher’s Moon 1974
17 Comeback 1997
18 Backflash 1998
19 Flashfire 2000
20 Firebreak 2001
21 Breakout 2002
22 Nobody Runs Forever 2004
23 Ask the Parrot 2006
24 Dirty Money 2008

Edward Schuyler, a 62-year-old science teacher and bird-watcher, finds himself a widower after his beloved wife, Bee, dies of pancreatic cancer. Edward’s adult step-children decide to “help” him by putting an ad in the New York Review of Books. The 42 responses to the ad for “Science Guy” jump-start Edward’s social life. Hilma Wolitzer captures the spectrum of experiences Edward encounters when he goes “dating after death.” Some of the dates are funny, some sad, some bizarre. I was faked me out twice in reading Hilma Wolitzer’s comedy of manners. If you’re looking for savvy story about love and sex, An Available Man will delight you. GRADE: B+

One of my chronic conditions is sleep apnea. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea 17 years ago. That’s when I used my first CPAP (Continuous Positive Air Pressure) device. It was a Healthdyne Tranquility Plus unit (top) that looked like a Macintosh computer and weighed about 20 pounds. Instantly, my life improved: I was less sleepy, my mind was sharper, and Diane didn’t have to endure the cacophony of my snoring each night. Seven years later, I upgraded to a RemStar (left) which was the size of a loaf of bread and weighed about five pounds. And now I have the new, compact ResMed S-9 (right). It’s about the size of a box set of Blu-rays and weighs about two pounds. If I hadn’t used a CPAP all these years, I’d probably be dead now. If you know someone who has a snoring problem, urge them to get it checked out!

War Horse has morphed from a Young Adult novel to a stage play to a Steven Spielberg film nominated for an Oscar for Best Movie. War Horse starts with a young colt bought by a drunken farmer. The farmer’s son, Albert, falls in love with the colt and takes care of it until the farmer sells the horse to the British Calvary when World War I begins. The horse’s experience in battle is grim. Much of the book made it into the play and much of it made it into the movie. But some details were left out and I enjoyed reading the original source material. GRADE: B+

Bill Crider advised me not to rush out and see Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows. I think Bill mentioned something like “it’s good, but not great.” We finally got around to seeing this second Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey, Jr. as Holmes and Jude Law as Watson. If you’ve seen the first of Downey’s Sherlock Holmes movies, you have seen the template for this second film: action, humor, fast-paced plotting. Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) remains Holmes’ arch rival. I enjoyed this film with its tangled plot and entertaining cast. Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows isn’t Sherlock Holmes in the traditional sense, but it will serve until the Real Thing shows up. GRADE: B+

I know Cap’n Bob loathes Tom Cruise (AKA The Evil Dwarf), but I found a lot to enjoy in the latest (and best) of the Mission Impossible movies. A cunning terrorist has framed the Impossible Missions force with the bombing of the Kremlin. The U.S. Government has invoked the “Ghost Protocol” where they publicly disavow the MI while covertly encouraging them to find the terrorist before a political disaster occurs. There’s the usual eye-popping stunts and cool gadgetry. Cruise’s team of Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton, and Simon Pegg balance off the screen time. If you’re looking for a stylish action-movie, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL will keep you on the edge of your seat. GRADE: A

I subscribed to Night Shade Books’ six volume series of Clark Ashton Smith’s works. Now, the final volume has been published and I’m sad to reach the end. If you haven’t read any of Clark Ashton Smith’s baroque fantasies, you’re really missing out on some fabulous stories. The Miscellaneous Writings of Clark Ashton Smith is an expanded edition of the planned Tales of India and Irony. If you’re a Clark Ashton Smith fan, this is a must-buy.
Table of Contents

Introduction: The Sorcerer Departs by Donald Sidney-Fryer
The Animated Sword
Prince Alcouz and the Magician
The Malay Krise
The Ghost of Mohammed Din
The Mahout
The Raja and the Tiger
Something New
The Flirt
The Perfect Woman
A Platonic Entanglement
The Expert Lover
A Copy of Burns
Checkmate
The Infernal Star
The House of Monoceros
Dawn of Discord
The Dead Will Cuckold You
The Hashish-Eater
Appendices
Story Notes
Bibliography
Errata for The Collected Fantasies of Clark Ashton Smith volumes 1 through 5
“O Amor atque Realitas!” By Donald Sidney-Fryer