“‘I have to say that each time I visit with you, I am left wanting to see you more,’ he wrote… I heard this sort of thing all the time, often in more ardent forms. The sentiment came from married men, single men, men who were divorced, men a few years or a few decades older than me, men who were wealthy, and men who were rich, men living under secret, crushing debt. Some cried over how much they felt for me, wrote me songs and poems, daydreamed aloud about marrying or impregnating me. I felt highly desired, and I was, verifiably, highly desired… I became a sex worker because I suspected, and hoped, it would be this way: a private, minor form of celebrity. An alternate version of myself.” (p. 4-5)
Charlotte Shane’s memoir details her career from her teenage years to her adult relationships. Shane had a difficult time with her father. At an early age, Shane was attracted to teenage boys. Later, in Graduate School, she decided to become a sex worker. The chronicle of her learning how the sex trade operated and developing her own style includes both her successes and her failures.
“I acquired and used real skills, sexual and otherwise, but whatever efforts I made were met more than halfway by clients’ loneliness and yearning and how they responded to youth. A craving for connection will fulfill itself by creating an appropriate object. I pared myself down for that fantasy and polished what was left behind, to accommodate whatever the client would bring to and place upon me. In truth, I wasn’t the woman. I was the pedestal.” (p. 84-85)
Shane didn’t fall for any of her clients (p. 124). After all, sex work is…well, work. But there is a Big Surprise at the end of An Honest Woman–at least it was surprising to me. This memoir takes you to places you have likely never been. GRADE: B+
