“‘I have to say that each time I visit with you, I am left wanting to see you more,’ he wrote… I heard this sort of thing all the time, often in more ardent forms. The sentiment came from married men, single men, men who were divorced, men a few years or a few decades older than me, men who were wealthy, and men who were rich, men living under secret, crushing debt. Some cried over how much they felt for me, wrote me songs and poems, daydreamed aloud about marrying or impregnating me. I felt highly desired, and I was, verifiably, highly desired… I became a sex worker because I suspected, and hoped, it would be this way: a private, minor form of celebrity. An alternate version of myself.” (p. 4-5)
Charlotte Shane’s memoir details her career from her teenage years to her adult relationships. Shane had a difficult time with her father. At an early age, Shane was attracted to teenage boys. Later, in Graduate School, she decided to become a sex worker. The chronicle of her learning how the sex trade operated and developing her own style includes both her successes and her failures.
“I acquired and used real skills, sexual and otherwise, but whatever efforts I made were met more than halfway by clients’ loneliness and yearning and how they responded to youth. A craving for connection will fulfill itself by creating an appropriate object. I pared myself down for that fantasy and polished what was left behind, to accommodate whatever the client would bring to and place upon me. In truth, I wasn’t the woman. I was the pedestal.” (p. 84-85)
Shane didn’t fall for any of her clients (p. 124). After all, sex work is…well, work. But there is a Big Surprise at the end of An Honest Woman–at least it was surprising to me. This memoir takes you to places you have likely never been. GRADE: B+
How did you ever come on this one? I know sex worker is the politically correct term but it implies it’s a chosen field. And I doubt that is ever the case.
Patti, I read a review of AN HONEST WOMAN and it sounded interesting. Charlotte Shane claims she chose to be a sex worker, which as you point out, is unusual.
It’s a choice for some, and to some extent a choice for some more. I’ve read memoirs and other writing from others in similar circumstances.
Todd, I’m going to take Charlotte Shane’s word as an “honest woman” and believe her story.
Well, she isn’t alone in this, as noted.
Todd, basically Charlotte Shane wanted to be idolized by men.
Sounds interesting, but not enough for me to read it. I have too many other things at hand.
Jeff, AN HONEST WOMAN is only 179 pages. I read it in one sitting.
I really doubt that men would idolize a sex worker. At least, normal men.
Patti, Charlotte Shane in AN HONEST WOMAN comes off more like a sexual therapist than a garden variety sex worker. She’s smart and sophisticated. And, there’s doubt many of her clients have “issues.”
And there are varying sorts of “idolization”…gigolos and “courtesans” have plied such trades for quite some time, to say the least…the reductionist nature of it isn’t unique to them and their clients, either, alas (or, I guess, not necessarily for them).
What other people decide they need can be interesting without being enticing at all.
Nothing about sex work strikes me as glamorous or a way to be admired or respected dolized. I would strongly recommend watching “Working Girls” from 1986, a matter-of-fact portrayal of sex work. I’d also recommend reading Robert Kolker’s LOST GIRLS, about the women whose bodies were found buried on a beach in Suffolk County (I think recently they made an arrest in the case). LOST GIRLS shows how most of the women made their way down (or up, depending on your point-of-view, I suppose) the ladder of sex work, starting out giving massages at “spas” then advertising on Craig’s List and on their own websites.
Deb, sex workers face plenty of challenges and, like you, I would not suggest it as a career path. Charlotte Shane’s clients were needy men–mostly lonely–who were willing to pay for companionship as well as sex. That does say something about our present social and political situation.
And throughout history.
I’m not qualified to comment on the pros and cons or rights and wrongs here. I will say, however, that I think a key is in the job title. Few people ever said on a Monday morning, “So long, I’m off to fun.”
Jerry, I have to confess I was one of those people who said, “So long, I’m off to fun” when I was teaching. I loved it, looked forward to it, and I was lucky to be a professor during the Golden Age of College teaching. Since I retired and the Pandemic hit, the whole teaching profession has been changed…for the worse. Bill Crider once told me, “We have the best job in the world.” And I agreed with him then.