Weighing in at 1304 pages, THE WORLD: A FAMILY HISTORY OF HUMANITY by Simon Sebag Montefiore certainly qualifies as a Big Fat Book. Montefiore takes on an impossible mission to tell the history of humanity through mostly tales of families. If you glance at the Table of Contents you’ll get an idea of the chronological and geographical approach Montefiore takes in tackling thousands of years of History. Here are some samples of the types of stories and facts Montefiore presents:

“Fatso (Physcon)–as Ptolemy VIII by the Alexandrians–was effete, obsessed and sadistic, thriving in a period of mob violence and factional intrigue. Marrying his sister Cleopatra II and fathering a son Memphites, Fatso then fell in love with her daughter, child of his sister-wife and late brother–his niece and stepdaughter Cleopatra III–and married her too… Fatso and his younger wife fled to Cyprus, while Cleopatra II ruled Egypt as sole queen. But Fatso had not given up. Realizing that their son Memphis might replace him, he kidnapped the fourteen-year-old, who trusted his father. Then Fatso had him strangled in from of him before cutting off his head, legs and hands, which he then sent to the boy’s mother the night before her birthday.” (p. 117)

“An American invertor Richard Gatling created this first machine gun to save lives during the Civil War: ‘If I could invent a machine–a gun–which could, by its rapidity of fire, enable one man to do as much battle duty as a hundred, it would supersede the necessity of large armies, and consequently, exposure to battle and disease.’ It did not work like that.” (p. 903)

“LBJ, whose style of leadership was ‘If you can’t fuck a man in the ass, then just peckerslap him–better to let him know who’s in charge than to let him get the keys to the car…” (p. 1127)

I was impressed with the vast knowledge of History Montefiore displays in this book. Although The World is over 1000 pages long, I never found it dragging. Montefiore is a master tale-teller who keeps the reader’s attention by presenting historical stories that are new and different (and often cruel). If you love History, you’ll love The World despite its length. GRADE: A

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Preface and Acknowledgments — xxvii

Note — xxxi

Introduction — xxxiii

Act one. Houses of Sargon and Ahmose: ziggurats and pyramids ; Houses of Hattusa and Rameses ; The Nubian pharaohs and great kings of Ashur: House Alara versus House Tiglath-Pileser — 1-40

Act two. Haxamanis and Alcmaeon: Houses of Persia and Athens ; The Alexandrians and the Haxamanishiya: Eurasian duel ; The Mauryans and the Qin ; The Barcas and the Scipios: the Houses of Carthage and Rome — 53-114

Act three. The Han and the Caesars ; Trajans and first step sharks: Romans and the Maya ; Severans and Zenobians: Arab dynasties — 117-175

Act four. Houses of Constantine, Sasan and Spearthrower Owl — 177-197

Act five. The Muhammad Dynasty ; Tang and Sasan — 199-220

Act six. Houses of Muhammad and Charlemagne ; Rurikovichi and the House of Basil ; The Ghanas and the Fatimiyya — 223-280

Act seven. Song, Fujiwara and Chola ; Seljuks, Komnenoi and Hautevilles — 283-313

Act eight. Genghis: a conquering family ; Khmers, Hohenstaufen and Polos ; The Keitas of Mali and the Habsburgs of Austria — 315-370

Act nine. The Tamerlanians, the Ming and the Obas of Benin — 373-397

Act ten. Medici and Mexica, Ottomans and Aviz ; Incas, Trastamaras and Rurikovichi ; Manikongos, Borgias and Columbuses ; Habsburgs and Ottomans — 399-453

Act eleven. Tamerlanians and Mexica, Ottomans and Safavis ; Incas, Pizarros, Habsburgs and Medici ; Tamerlanians and Rurikovichi, Ottomans and the House of Mendes ; Valois and Saadis, Habsburgs and Rurikovichi — 455-540

Act twelve. Dahomeans, Stuarts and Villiers, Tamerlanians and Ottomans ; Zumbas and Oranges, Cromwells and Villiers ; Manchus and Shivajis, Bourbons, Stuarts and Villiers ; Afsharis and Manchus, Hohenzollerns and Habsburgs ; Durranis and Saids, Hemingses and Toussaints ; Romanovs and Durranis, Pitts, Comanche and Kamehamehas — 541-698

Act thirteen. Arkwrights and Krupps, Habsburgs, Bourbons and Sansons — 699-725

Act fourteen. Bonapartes and Albanians, Wellesleys and Rothschilds ; Zulus and Saudis, Christophes, Kamehamehas and Astors — 727-784

Act fifteen. Braganzas and Zulus, Albanians, Dahomeans and Vanderbilts — 785-825

Act sixteen. Bonapartes and Manchus, Habsburgs and Comanche — 829-870

Act seventeen. Hohenzollerns and Krupps, Albanians and Lakotas — 873-894

Act eighteen. The Houses of Solomon and Asante, Habsburg and Saxe-Coburg ; The Houses of Hohenzollern and Roosevelt, Solomon and Manchu — 895-923

Act nineteen. Hohenzollerns, Krupps, Ottomans, Tennos and Songs ; Hohenzollerns, Habsburgs and Hashemites ; Pahlavis and Songs, Roosevelts, Mafiosi and Kennedys — 957-1023

Act twenty. Roosevelts, Suns, Krupps, Pahlavis and Saudis — 1025-1067

Act twenty-one. Nehrus, Maos and Suns, Mafiosi, Hashemites and Albanians ; Norodoms and Kennedys, Castros, Kenyattas and Obamas ; Hashemites and Kennedys, Maos, Nehruvians and Assads ; Houses of Solomon and Bush, Bourbon, Pahlavi and Castro — 1069=1148

Act twenty-two. Yeltsins and Xis, Nehruvians and Assads, Bin Ladens, Kims and Obamas — 1150-1195

Act twenty-three. Trumps and Xis, Sauds, Assads and Kims — 1243-1255

Conclusion — 1257

Select Bibliography — 1265

INDEX — 1267