Rebecca Traister explores the strange new world of single women in the 21st Century. In previous centuries, women married in their early 20s. Today, less than 30% of women marry in their 20s. Marriage, which was formerly a goal for most women, is now an option. Traister shows how society changed, how economics made it possible for women to survive and thrive without a husband. I heard Rebecca Traister interviewed on National Public Radio and immediately ordered All the Single Ladies. Diane and I married at age 29 (which was considered “late” back then) but both our son and daughter are older than that and enjoy their singleness. Is marriage obsolete?
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
A Note on Interviews and Attibution
Introduction
CHAPTER ONE: Watch Out for that Women: The Poltical and Social Power of an Unmarried Nation
CHAPTER TWO: Single Women Hae Often Made History: Unmarried in America
CHAPTER THREE: The Sex of Cities: Urban Life and Female Independence
CHAPTER FOUR: Dangerous as Lucifer Matches: The Friendships of Women
CHAPTER FIVE: My Solitude, My Self: Sing Women on Their Own
CHAPTER SIX: For Richer: Work, Money, and Independence
CHAPTER SEVEN: For Poorer: Single Women and Sexism, Racism, and Poverty
CHAPTER EIGHT: Sex and the Single Girls: Virginity to Promiscuity and Beyond
CHAPTER NINE: Horse and Carriage: Maryying–And Not Marrying–In the Time of Singlehood
CHAPTER TEN: Then Comes What? And When?: Independence and Parenthood
Conduction
Appendix
Where Are They Now?
Acknowledgements
Selected Bibliography
Notes
I’m really looking forward to this book after I read a long interview with the author on Jezebel.com. Not so much for me (although I married at 31; my husband was 28; we’ve been married for 27 years now), but for my three daughters–all of whom would “like to get married if they meet the right guy,” but do not see marriage as a necessity or something they have to do to be happy or fulfilled. It really is a big, generational sea-change.
Deb, “sea-change” is the perfect description for what’s going on. I learned a lot from reading ALL THE SINGLE LADIES. Rebecca Traister is a fine writer.
I wouldn’t say obsolete, but it is definitely not the same as it was 45 years ago. The kids (to us; they are in their 30s now) in our siblings’ children’s generation are mostly single, though one niece has married and had a child. (Two others have children, one in a relationship that didn’t work out, his sister being married in some sense other than that recognized by the government.)
We were young when we married. Jackie was just 22 and I was about to turn that age.
Jeff, it’s a whole new world for young people today. Marriage and relationships seem a lot more complicated.
I have to say that single women seem as happy to me as married ones. The caveat would be it’s much more difficult having a child–and for the child too–without two parents and two incomes.
Patti, child-rearing today is a balancing act. You’re right about the two parents and two incomes, too.
I agree wholeheartedly with Patti. I tell my own daughters, take your time and don’t feel pressured to marry, but remember that if you have a child out-of- wedlock (to use what is now a quaint Victorian term) you may be condemning yourself and your child to very limited economic circumstances.
Deb, I think it comes down to a zero-sum game. A hundred years ago, marriage was still the primary objective of most women because they had few alternatives. Now, women have many more options. But that lifestyle of the working woman limits the amount time and energy they have for relationships. Plus, men are in a Different Place, too.
Wake me when this is over!
Bob, you have a couple daughters to worry about! This book would help.
They’re grown, they’re able to worry about themselves!