I’m a big fan of comic novels about Colleges and Professors (Kingsley Amis’ Lucky Jim, Dear Committee Members and The Shakespeare Requirement by Julie Schumacher) so Foolscap by Michael Malone immediately appealed to me. Theo Ryan, professor of Renaissance Drama at elite Cavendish College in North Carolina (think Duke), has written a play about the execution of Sir Walter Raleigh titled Foolscap.

Theo is supposed to be working on the biography of local celebrity playwright, Joshua Ford Rexford. Redford has won numerous literary prizes for his plays–Tonys, Pulitzer Prizes, etc.–but he’s broke because of his wild spending and the costs of his four former wives. Theo shows Rexford his draft of Foolscap and that unleashes a wacky plot that blends forgery, fakery, and an affair with a graduate student. Along the way, Michael Malone captures the politics of College departments and the in-fighting within the College Administration. If you’re in the mood for a fun romp in academia, Foolscap delivers plenty of laughs. GRADE: B+

Jill Schlesinger, who used to work on Wall Street, now serves as a CBS News Business Analyst. Schlesinger knows her stuff as The Dumb Things Smart People Do With Their Money proves. Schlesinger addresses all the common financial pitfalls and problems people face. In her first chapter, “You Buy Financial Products That You Don’t Understand,” Schlesinger shows how plenty of Senior Citizens get ripped off by Reverse Mortgages and sketchy annuity schemes. The sales people baffle their potential clients with bullshit and then fleece them of their money for years!

I appreciated the Appendix: “Thirteen Smart Things Smart People Should Do.” The first smart thing is to read this book! GRADE: A
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
Author’s Note ix
Introduction xi
DUMB THING #1: You buy financial products that you don’t understand 3
DUMB THING #2: You take financial advice from the wrong people 21
DUMB THING #3: You make money more important than it is 39
DUMB THING #4: You take on too much college debt 58
DUMB THING #5: You buy a house when you should rent 80
DUMB THING #6: You take on too much risk 96
DUMB THING #7: You fail to protect your identity. 112
DUMB THING #8: You indulge too much during your early retirement years 125
DUMB THING #9: You saddle your kids with your own money issues 146
DUMB THING #10: You don’t plan for the care of your aging parents. 163
DUMB THING #11: You buy the wrong kinds of insurance, or none at all 182
DUMB THING #12: You don’t have a will 199
DUMB THING #13: You try to “time” the market 217
Appendix: Thirteen smart things smart people should do 233
Acknowledgments 237
Notes 239
Index 249

What play is performed most frequently in the United States? Surprisingly, it’s John Cariani’s Almost, Maine. We went to see it after the local reviews–both radio and print–were enthusiastic. Almost, Maine consists of a series of comedy sketches about love and the problems of being in love. You can see why this play is so popular. Although there are 20 roles, the play requires only four actors. The props are minimal: a couple chairs, a table, some paper on the ceiling to depict the Northern Lights. And a couple of big mounds of snow.

John Cariani started out as an actor. You might know him from Law & Order as Forensics Tech Beck. Cariani wrote this play (his first) in 2004 and it premiered at the Portland (Maine) Stage Company that year and opened Off-Broadway in 2006. Since then Almost, Maine has been a staple for regional theaters, dinner theaters, and high school stages.

Yes, there are some slap-stick moments in Almost, Maine. And some sad moments, too. But overall, the sketches are upbeat and optimistic about Love. If you’re in the mood for something light and fluffy, Almost, Maine is your ticket. GRADE: B

Gardner Dozois died in 2018 so The Very Best of the Best (2019) is likely to be his last book. Dozois edited the gold standard YEAR’S BEST SF series since 1984 and produced 35 massive volumes. In addition to the 600+ stories in the Dozois yearly anthologies, Dozois wrote informative introductions and tried to make sense of the publishing world year after year. The Very Best of the Best collects Dozois’s choices from 2003 to 2017. If you want more then I can recommend The Best of the Best (2005) and The Best of the Best, Volume 2: 20 Years of the Best Short Science Fiction Novels (2007). No contemporary Science Fiction editor had the impact on the genre that Gardner Dozois did. Enjoy this final volume as much as I did. GRADE: A+
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
PERMISSIONS vii
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xi
Preface / Gardner Dozois — xii
The potter of bones / Eleanor Arnason — 1
Rogue farm / Charles Stross — 39
The little goddess / Ian McDonald — 51
Dead men walking / Paul McAuley — 84
Tin marsh / Michael Swanwick — 99
Good mountain / Robert Reed — 114
Where the golden apples grow / Kage Baker — 160
The sledge-maker’s daughter / Alastair Reynolds — 204
Glory / Greg Egan — 222
Finisterra / David Moles — 243
The illustrated biography of Lord Grimm / Daryl Gregory — 269
Utriusque Cosmi / Robert Charles Wilson — 286
Events preceding the Helvetican Renaissance / John Kessel — 304
Useless things / Maureen McHugh — 328
Mongoose / Sarah Monette and Elizabeth Bear — 342
Hair / Adam Roberts — 358
The things / Peter Watts — 377
The emperor of Mars / Allen M. Steele — 391
Flower, mercy, needle, chain / Yoon Ha Lee — 407
Martian heart / John Barnes — 413
The invasion of Venus / Stephen Baxter — 425
Weep for day / Indrapramit Das — 435
The girl-thing who went out for sushi / Pat Cadigan — 450
The memcordist / Lavie Tidhar — 467
The best we can / Carrie Vaughn — 478
The discovered country / Ian R. MacLeod — 487
Pathways / Nancy Kress — 510
The hand is quicker / Elizabeth Bear — 531
Someday / James Patrick Kelly — 547
The long haul, from the Annals of Transportation, The Pacific Monthly, May 2009 / Ken Liu — 558
Three cups of grief, by starlight / Aliette De Bodard — 573
Calved / Sam J. Miller — 587
Emergence / Gwyneth Jones — 598
Rates of change / James S.A. Corey — 613
Jonas and the fox / Rich Larson — 624
Kit: Some assembly required / Kathe Koja and Carter Scholz — 641
Winter timeshare / Ray Nayler — 652
My English name / R.S. Benedict –666

TIME LIFE Music back in 2000 produced a box set of 10 2-CD volumes of Soul and R&B hits marketed and sold on TV. Later, the individual volumes were sold in stores. Body + Soul: Sweet Seduction is Volume Two in this series and features songs from the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s digitally remastered. As in most collections like this, there are some hits and misses. I’m a fan of Brenda Russell’s “Piano In The Dark” and “Do Me Baby” (written by Prince) by Meli’sa Morgan. Familiar songs like Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” and The Temptatons’ “Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)” rub shoulders with less familiar songs like “You Don’t Have to Cry” by Rene and Angela. Do you remember these songs? Do you see any favorites here? GRADE: A-
TRACK LIST:
Disc: 1
1. Power Of Love/Love Power – Luther Vandross
2. If Only You Knew – Patti Labelle
3. I Believe In You And Me – The Four Tops
4. Distant Lover – Marvin Gaye
5. Reunited – Peaches And Herb
6. La La Means I Love You – The Delfonics
7. You Should Be Mine (The Woo Woo Song) – Jeffrey Osborne
8. Do Me Baby – Meli’sa Morgan
9. Just To Be Close To You – Commodores
10. If I Were Your Woman – Glady’s Knight And The Pips
11. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) – The Temptations
12. You Don’t Have To Cry – Rene And Angela
Disc: 2
1. Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe – Barry White
2. Baby Come To Me – Regina Belle
3. Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
4. Special Lady – Ray, Goodman And Brown
5. I’ll Be Good To You – The Brothers Johsnon
6. Cherish – Kool And The Gang
7. Being With You – Smokey Robinson
8. You Are My Lady – Freddie Jackson
9. Love Ballad – L.T.D.
10. Stairway To Heaven – The O’Jays
11. Turn Off The Lights – Teddy Pendergrass
12. Piano In The Dark – Brenda Russell

By the time you read this I should be heavily dosed with Happy Drugs and about to go under General Anesthesia. Although Art Scott considers me a surgery junkie, I only allow myself to undergo surgical procedures when I’ve exhausted all previous options.

I suffer from rosacea which has the side effect of inflammation. My dermatologist told me, “Unless you do something about your swollen nose, it will be the size of a banana by the time you turn 80.” He suggested an appointment with a plastic surgeon. Diane and I met with the plastic surgeon and he explained the procedure. Here’s an idea about what’s going to happen to me soon, before and after (theoretically):
https://www.google.com/search?sa=X&q=co2+laser+for+bulbous+nose&tbm=isch&source=univ&ved=2ahUKEwjZ1crFxq3gAhXgIDQIHTU9B_QQsAR6BAgCEAE&biw=1158&bih=573

I work ahead on my blog posts so even though I’ll be in LA LA LAND for a few days, there will be something here each day to amuse you.

MEDICAL UPDATE:
My laser surgery went well. No complications (yet!). Nurse Diane drove me home and is keeping an eye on me because I’m still a little loopy from the Happy Drugs and anesthesia. I had nothing to eat or drink since midnight last night so I’m now busy drinking fluids and cautiously eating foods on the BRAT Diet (bananas, rice, apples, and toast). Things should return to normal tomorrow. I meet with my plastic surgeon on Friday, March 1, for a post-op checkup. So far, so good. Thank you all for your kind wishes for a rapid recovery!

I found Stan & Ollie to be a melancholy movie. The movie begins in 1937 on the set of Way Out West. Stan Laurel (Steve Coogan) and Oliver Hardy (John C. Reilly) acted together in 107 movies, 95 of them as stars. Yet, they had no financial stake in any of those films. Laurel appeals to Hardy to allow him to negotiate with the movie studio to gain some financial benefit from their work…but Hardy doesn’t want to make waves.

The movie then fast-forwards to 1953. Both Laurel (63) and Hardy (61), at the end of their careers, undertake a series of performances in England to make much needed money. Laurel pursues a British film-maker who dangles the hope of a Robin Hood movie starring Laurel and Hardy before the desperate comedians. I really liked Shirley Henderson who plays Ollie’s caring wife, Lucille. And Nina Arianda who plays Stan’s wife, Ida, steals every scene she’s in.

I loved Laurel & Hardy movies as a kid. This movie about two fading comedians is more sad than funny. GRADE: B

Mortal Republic starts off with these words: “We live in a time of political crisis, when the structures of republics as diverse as the United States, Venezuela, France, and Turkey are threatened. Many of these these republics are the constitutional descendants of Rom and, as such, they have inherited both the tremendous structural strengths that allowed the Roman Republic to thrive for so long and some of the same structural weaves that led eventually to its demise.” (p. 7)

Edward J. Watts’ history of the Roman Republic offers plenty of parallels with our present situation. The erosion of the Republic led to the cruel and mentally unstable autocrats like Caligula, Nero, and Commodus. Watts also shows that autocrats like Sulla relied on fear and brutality to force their will on Rome: “Sulla ordered the massacre of six thousand Samnites, who were murdered in the circus at Rome, with the executions timed so that the cries of the condemned would echo through the Temple of Bellona right when Sulla rose to address a terrified Roman Senate. As the dying Samnites creamed outside, Sulla promised to repair the Republic…” (p. 140)
Table of Contents
Maps viii
Preface 1
Chapter 1 Autocratic Freedom 5
Chapter 2 The New World Order 13
Chapter 3 Empire and Inequality 45
Chapter 4 The Politics of Frustration 69
Chapter 5 The Rise of the Outsider 97
Chapter 6 The Republic Breaks 119
Chapter 7 Rebuilding amid the Wreckage 145
Chapter 8 The Republic of the Mediocre 169
Chapter 9 Stumbling Toward Dictatorship 191
Chapter 10 The Birth and Death of Caesar’s Republic 219
Chapter 11 The Republic of Octavian 241
Chapter 12 Choosing Augustan Liberty 271
Notes 283
Index 323

I have no inside knowledge about who will win the OSCARS tonight. In fact, Diane and I probably won’t watch the long and tedious award ceremony. No host, tedious presenters, and way too many rambling speeches make other TV programming more appealing. I liked Black Panther but superhero movies don’t win OSCARS. I liked Emma Stone’s performance in The Favorite but she’s not going to win. I wish both Mahershala Ali and Viggo Mortensen would win OSCARS for Green Book, but that’s not going to happen, either. So here are my predictions. Who do you think will win tonight?

BEST MOVIE: Green Book
BUST DIRECTOR: Alfonso Cuarón, Roma
BEST ACTOR: Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
BEST ACTRESS: Glenn Close, The Wife
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Mahershala Ali, Green Book
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk

Diane and I planned to seeGreen Book weeks ago but the Polar Vortex and series of curious events delayed us. Finally, we saw Green Book in a surprisingly large audience at our local Regal Theater. Viggo Mortensen plays Tony Vallelonga (aka, “Tony Lip”), a Bronx bouncer. It’s 1962 and Tony finds himself out of work when the Copa Cabana is closed for “renovations.” He applies for an 8-week gig. Mahershala Ali brilliantly portrays Dr. Don Shirley, a gifted Black pianist and composer, who has voluntarily booked a series of performances in the Deep South. Although Dr. Shirley is classically trained, his record company and his handlers prefer he play jazz that appeals to the white audiences who come to listen Shirley’s performances. Dr. Shirley needs a driver and chooses Tony.

Sure, Green Book blends Buddy Movie, Road Trip Movie, The Odd Couple, and Driving Miss Daisy into an entertaining mix with aspects of dread. The trip through Jim Crow South, with its “sundown” towns (where African-Americans faced death if they were out in the evening), White-only restaurants, hotels, and other public establishments adds danger to every day. Tony uses the Green Book–the actual guide that “gives the Negro traveler information that will keep him from running into difficulties, embarrassments and make his trips more enjoyable”–to plan their trip. But trouble is always lurking and Tony saves Dr. Shirley several times.

“Inspired” by the true story of this trip, the script of Green Book was co-written by Vallelonga’s son Nick. Director Peter Farrelly shows how movies should be made. GRADE: A