One in seven Americans live alone and the number is climbing. Part of the phenomenon is caused by the decline of marriage and the pressure to “be a couple.” The other part occurs on the other end of the age cycle when spouses die and the survivor lives alone. Eric Klinenberg argues that the U.S. needs to look at what Sweden is doing for their elderly singles: providing safe, inexpensive single unit housing with “assisted care.” Klinenberg forecasts millions of elderly singles in the years ahead, but little available to them other than moving in with relatives or nursing homes. Better options need to be provided. GRADE: B
I can relate. I’ve lived alone most of my adult life with only a couple of short term relationships with women. I believe I’m the classic definition of a hermit. I have my friends, but am more comfortable living alone. It’s something I came to terms with twenty years ago.
Randy, you are a member of a growing demographic segment. GOING SOLO documents dozens of case studies where men and women prefer to live alone. And, given the probabilities, we married folks are going to find ourselves “going solo” later in life.
I know so many women (and a few men) who live alone and most of them seem quite content, having been burned early on mostly. But the ones without children concern me. As people who have cared for our parents, we know what that task is like. Who will be there for them?
Exactly, Patti! A good part of GOING SOLO discusses single people who have no family or support system and what needs to happen to protect them as they age.
We are all concerned as to how my father will do alone after 65 years of marriage. We both agree he is much more able to make it than my mother would have been had he gone first, but he is 87 and has had various health problems. But as he said this week, our family is made of survivors. They have a very close circle of friends around them, so we’ll have to monitor the situation and see how it goes. My sister is only an hour away.
Diane and I are dealing with Elder Care issues with our aging mothers, too, Jeff. Diane’s 92-year-old mother lives with us so that’s how we are dealing with that situation for the moment. My mother is a resident in an Alzheimer’s wing of a nursing home 10 minutes from my house. I highly recommend NY TIMES columnist Jane Gross’ BITTERSWEET SEASON which deals with approaches to aging parents.
I was one of the happy living alone group for most of 35 years, then all of a sudden at age 60 got married. I’m happy I did, but don’t regret any of those alone years. I had lots of friends, a good social life but could always go home, close the door and be by myself, do what I wanted, listen, eat, sleep, watch what and when I wanted… Being married, or in any full-time shared-living relationship means lots of compromises. It’s not always easy for a once-was crusty old bachelor like me. But I don’t mind, it’s worth it, and as I get older it’s nice to know there’s someone to help and whom I can help.
As for family to take care of us, I have no children, Barbara has two daughters, but they always seem to be struggling to make ends meet, both have several children, no space, no time for and elderly mother or step father.
Yes, aging is problematic, Rick. Married or single, it’s a struggle. GOING SOLO presents a blue-print based on Sweden’s approach to providing older singles safe, inexpensive, and stimulating living places. I lived alone most of my 20s and loved it!