25 thoughts on “LIBRARIAN NOIR

  1. Dan

    My late wife’s favorite was the guy who walked up to the desk with a sheaf of papers and said, “Could one of you girls type this up for me?”

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    1. george Post author

      Dan, when I was interviewed for a consulting job by a headhunter who was searching for a librarian (the contract had several libraries in the network), she finally ended the interview by asking me, “Are you gay?” (since mail librarians are rare). I answered her, “I love books, not men.”

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  2. maggie mason

    The one about the same question every day reminds me of my friend scott, who works at a used bookstore. There’s a man who calls every day to ask him to call him back so he can see if his phone and answering machine still work. He often does this 4-5 times a day. Scott is the only one that will do that. Sometimes he is busy and has to tell the man he doesn’t have time, and the guy goes into a panic.

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    1. george Post author

      Maggie, when I worked as a librarian for a Public Library in Niagara Falls, we had a number of patrons with “odd” requests. One woman would come in almost every day and ask us to look up an address (or phone number) in our directories. This was pre-Internet.

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  3. Jeff Meyerson

    Love it, especially BOOK GLUE JUNKIE.

    I can well believe it about the patrons. Librarians have to deal with a lot of odd ducks.

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    1. george Post author

      Jeff, when I worked for the Niagara Falls Public Library, one big problem was homeless guys who would come in, pick a comfortable chair, and snore. Really, really loudly. We had a no-nonsense librarian who would kick them out.

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      1. Steve Oerkfitz

        I worked as a library asst at the Pontiac Library in Michigan for several years in the 70’s. We had a huge homeless person problem coupled with the location of a state mental hospital (really interesting Victorian looking , they once filmed a horror film there after the building was closed) nearby. Since I was the only male employee I got called to deal with the worst of these. Once had a guy threaten one of the women with a knife. Also had a guy who liked taking dumps in the bathroom sinks. Luckily the janitor got stuck with that. Some of the homeless could stink up half the building in no time.

      2. george Post author

        Steve, we had similar problems with homeless people in our public library. I felt sorry for the homeless people. Clearly, they had many physical and mental problems. But they could quickly upset library patrons with their outrageous behaviors like the ones you’ve cited.

  4. wolfi

    Those titles and the accompanying pictures are really funny!

    You can let your imagination run wild …

    I still remember our town library from 55/60 years ago – the librarian was the mother of a school friend and would let me take “adult” titles too. I usually went there every afternoon and my greatest joy was when a new load of books arrived from the “America House” – there were many titles by “modern” US authors like Steinbeck, Dos Passos etc. The most “adult” book I found was “Walk on the wild side”.

    For someone who didn’t have the money to buy books that was really nice.

    A bit OT:
    A friend of my mother worked in a bookstore – she would let me sit in a corner and read the latest Science Fiction paperbacks (in German translation of course).
    And even more OT:
    My wife’s just reading the Expanse series by “James A Corey” on her kindle and enjoys it very much (in Hungarian) – it’s below freezing outside and we have our fireplace going, so it’s nice and warm. The cat and the dog also are enjoying the warmth …

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    1. george Post author

      Wolf, we’re back in the “mild” zone with temperature in the 40s (about 20 degrees above normal). I like the “James A. Corey” EXPANSE series, too!

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  5. Beth Fedyn

    Way back when I worked at the MU Library, there was a staff meeting on how to deal with patron medical emergencies. The priest who coordinated many public service operations suggested that, if someone was down/incapacitated, we should lean down and whisper the Lord’s Prayer in his ear. One of the kids working the circulation desk commented that he’d feel a lot better if someone whispered in his ear that they’d call 911. The priest was not amused.

    At another staff meeting, the honchos were trying to set up a plan of action in the event of snow emergencies. Who would be able to get in to work? One of the librarians assured them that he’d be there – weather permitting.

    Sometimes I would hide up in the carrels and read. This probably explains why I never made use of my MLS degree. I’m scum.

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    1. Jeff Meyerson

      Jackie used to suffer from that because she and her friend Florence were always able to get into school on the worst weather days by subway or bus, while the drivers would stay home. Sometimes they’d be the only two teachers who showed up.

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    2. george Post author

      Beth, one of the reasons I got a Master’s Degree in Library Science was that I thought I’d be able to read all the time. I did get some reading done when I worked the Reference Desk, but other than that, I was kept busy cataloging books, shelving books, and doing book acquisition.

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